This book by Frank and Ayesha Jones is simply an epiphany. [Forgive me for looking at this from a Professional Male point of view, with a stay at home wife and school age children - interpret as you need to]It makes a critical set of observations about modern middle-classed lifestyles:
- You own a big house in the suburbs (because thats where big houses are), so you could get the big back yard for your children to play in safely and it cost a lot of money, so you have a big mortgage;
- You therefore have to spend a long time each day commuting to a suitably paid job to service said mortgage;
- Therefore you never see you kids because you're out the door before they are awake in the morning and they're in bed when you get home;
- Except on the weekends of course! But then you spend all weekend mowing the lawns in your big back yard and ensuring its upkeep;
- You also have a second car because you drive your car (with just you in it) to work all day and your wife needs one to run from the suburbs to where the good shops and schools are;
- Its all so expensive and that really adds stress to your lifestyle, so you try to deal with this by spending money on your kids, wife, yourself, but then that adds stress;
OK so you know the score and we probably don't all have ticks against every statement but some will.
So what do they suggest?
- You don't like the commute, so move closer to your job! Consider living in the inner city or wherever you can achieve a reduced commute so you see you kids in the morning and read them a story at night.
- You could obviously change jobs to find one that doesn't pose such a commuting problem. Ahh, but that could reduce your earnings and you have a mortgage;
- Downsize your house and reduce your mortgage! Why not? You spend the time you should be spending with your family looking after bricks, mortar and closely cropped lawns;
- So you consider moving into an inner city apartment - now you walk to work, out the door at 8:30am, walking your kids to school, at your desk at 9am and no need for two cars;
- Your kids don't have a backyard that you feel obliged to fill with expensive swings and slides etc - when there are perfectly good examples at your local park! You now have the time to take your kids to the park, when you were previously mowing lawns. They meet other children and learn to play together, rather than those vile rich kids that never have to share because they have one of every toy imaginable. OK so your wife gets down the park with the kids rather than stay imprisoned at home, looking after a home twice the size it needs to be. She meets other friends and develops a network of local friends and other mothers - I think this used to be called a "Community"... I remember those, and we wonder what made them disappear...
- OK so your kids might also spend more time indoors because you live in an apartment (or maybe a terraced house with a small backyard), but ask any child - they would rather spend time with Dad reading stories and doing jigsaws, than spending hours on their own in your big backyard.
OK so I have summarised a concept that was big enough to fill a book and there are probably many holes in my examples. But find your own truth in this concept and make your own groove - I think there is a lot of wisdom in the whole idea and it has lead me to question what I really want out of life - its lifestyle and its not as expensive as you think.
If anyone reads this and decides to toss in their job and run naked down the beach (with reference to Reginald Perrin) - please let me know. I might bump into you down at the park with your kids...
- You therefore have to spend a long time each day commuting to a suitably paid job to service said mortgage;
- Therefore you never see you kids because you're out the door before they are awake in the morning and they're in bed when you get home;
- Except on the weekends of course! But then you spend all weekend mowing the lawns in your big back yard and ensuring its upkeep;
- You also have a second car because you drive your car (with just you in it) to work all day and your wife needs one to run from the suburbs to where the good shops and schools are;
- Its all so expensive and that really adds stress to your lifestyle, so you try to deal with this by spending money on your kids, wife, yourself, but then that adds stress;
OK so you know the score and we probably don't all have ticks against every statement but some will.
So what do they suggest?
- You don't like the commute, so move closer to your job! Consider living in the inner city or wherever you can achieve a reduced commute so you see you kids in the morning and read them a story at night.
- You could obviously change jobs to find one that doesn't pose such a commuting problem. Ahh, but that could reduce your earnings and you have a mortgage;
- Downsize your house and reduce your mortgage! Why not? You spend the time you should be spending with your family looking after bricks, mortar and closely cropped lawns;
- So you consider moving into an inner city apartment - now you walk to work, out the door at 8:30am, walking your kids to school, at your desk at 9am and no need for two cars;
- Your kids don't have a backyard that you feel obliged to fill with expensive swings and slides etc - when there are perfectly good examples at your local park! You now have the time to take your kids to the park, when you were previously mowing lawns. They meet other children and learn to play together, rather than those vile rich kids that never have to share because they have one of every toy imaginable. OK so your wife gets down the park with the kids rather than stay imprisoned at home, looking after a home twice the size it needs to be. She meets other friends and develops a network of local friends and other mothers - I think this used to be called a "Community"... I remember those, and we wonder what made them disappear...
- OK so your kids might also spend more time indoors because you live in an apartment (or maybe a terraced house with a small backyard), but ask any child - they would rather spend time with Dad reading stories and doing jigsaws, than spending hours on their own in your big backyard.
OK so I have summarised a concept that was big enough to fill a book and there are probably many holes in my examples. But find your own truth in this concept and make your own groove - I think there is a lot of wisdom in the whole idea and it has lead me to question what I really want out of life - its lifestyle and its not as expensive as you think.
If anyone reads this and decides to toss in their job and run naked down the beach (with reference to Reginald Perrin) - please let me know. I might bump into you down at the park with your kids...
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